The Ultimate Betrayal

Another indicator of danger ahead was when they began keeping their conversations and the occurrence of contact secret from their spouses. This is a specific danger sign. Both persons knew that their spouses would be upset if they knew the extent of the contact, the depth of the emotional connection, and the intimate subjects being routinely discussed.

Finding out that your spouse is caught up in emotional affairs can feel like the ultimate betrayal, and many spouses view it that way. They view what has happened as deception and they feel betrayed. Many spouses will shrug off when asked about an emotional affair with the reply that “It’s harmless” or “We’re just friends.” They fail to see the damage that the emotional closeness with someone outside of the marriage is doing to the primary relationship.